Dare Iced Coffee

Beverage or laxative?

Dear Lion,

I am writing this letter in regards to your product .

I would like to formally thank you for providing me, and the people of Australia a solution to both Fatigue, and constipation, both of which have taken quite a toll on my social life and occupation. Dare has revolutionized the human method of waste disposal, what was once a very stressful and time consuming practice, has been transformed into a gentle, reliable and consistently flowing river of delight.

However, i would like to raise some general concerns i have with your product. After months of consuming dare on a daily basis, i am becoming aware of an ever-growing emotional attachment Ive developed for the toilet. I'm becoming increasing isolated and detached from the outside world. Out there, i'm just a man, but in here, i am a King, perched on top of my porcelain throne, ready to wage war on whatever beast i had consumed that day. I am beginning to notice a very distinct similarity between and mind altering drugs. The altered mental state, the anxiety, the cravings and the social detachment are all clear side effects that one would usually associate with drug use.

I believe that the Stockholm affect that Dare has on its consumer to be dangerous to young adults like myself. Over the past year, i have developed an infatuation with your product, a deep love rendering me incapable of participating in everyday practices without a healthy flow of milk. I am prisoner, and dare is my captor.

In light of these issues, i believe it to be necessary that Dare contain comprehensive warning labels on the bottles, clearly outlining the physical and physiologic effects the product has on its consumers. I believe this to be a requirement, to prevent further cases of addiction.

My daily intake of Dare has clearly resulted in a number of issues,weight gain, anxiety and many more. As compensation, i ask that you deliver a pallet of Dare Iced coffee to the address listed above to avoid any further action.

In conclusion, i ask you to carefully consider the issues i have raised today.

From the bottom of my bowels,

L.T. Special Sauce