M & M' s

Dear management,

I am writing to bring to light several concerns regarding your m & m characters. I grew up to these abhorrent creatures scaring me as a child. The red m & m embodies all the pessimism that I try to shake off on a daily basis. I spend a lot of time indulging in and trying to stay upbeat, but it is difficult when confronted with this loathsome bitter man/chocolate orb. The yellow m & m seems to be developmentally challenged which you might think is amusing, but for such outwardly sweet treats, there is something very dark, sinister and unsavory within. 

The introduction of the new leggy green female m & m is a thick chocolaty spit in the face of feminism. In reference to second wave feminism, pioneered in the sixties, why should she have to wear eye makeup for the male m & m's? And why cant she wear comfortable flats rather than high-heels? Also, just how do these m & m's reproduce and is the green one like the tart "smurfette"?

Also, I would like some more clarity in regards to your shady side operation "Symbioscience", could you please clear up any confusion over just what this knavish branch does?

Regards,

Lord THOMAS